Liam Payne‘s girlfriend Kate Cassidy is reflecting on what would’ve been.
One week after the One Direction singer’s tragic death, the 25-year-old has shared a heartbreaking tribute to him, noting that she didn’t “even know where to begin.”
“My heart is shattered in ways I can’t put into words,” she wrote in an Oct. 23 Instagram post featuring numerous photos of the couple. “I wish you could see the huge impact you’ve had on the world, even as it feels so dark right now. You brought so much happiness and positivity to everyone—millions of fans, your family, friends, and especially me. You are incredibly loved.”
Kate, who had been vacationing with Liam in Argentina for two weeks, but had returned to the U.S. just days before his passing, went on to detail the impact he continues to have on her life.
“You are—because I can’t say were—my best friend, the love of my life, and everyone you touched felt just as special as I did,” the influencer told her late boyfriend of two years in her message. “Your energy was contagious, lighting up every room you walked into. None of this feels real, and I can’t wrap my head around this new reality of not having you here. I’m struggling to figure out how to live in a world without you by my side. Together, we got to be kids again, always finding joy in the smallest things.”
In fact, their relationship recently reached a new peak, with the pair making plans for their future.
“A few weeks ago, we sat outside on a beautiful evening manifesting our lives together,” Kate added. “I keep your note close, even though you told me not to look at it. It said, ‘Me and Kate to marry within a year/engaged & together forever 444.’”
“Liam, I know we’ll be together forever, but not in the way we had planned,” she concluded. “You’ll always be with me. I’ve gained a guardian angel.I will love you for the rest of my life and beyond, carrying our dreams and memories with me everywhere I go.”
Kate’s heart-wrenching message comes exactly one week after the singer died at the at age of 31 from a fatal fall off a hotel balcony in Argentina. In the time that has followed since, many of his loved ones including his One Direction bandmates Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson have paid tribute to their close friend.
“We’re completely devastated by the news of Liam’s passing,” they wrote in a joint statement posted to One Direction’s Instagram Oct. 17. “In time, and when everyone is able to, there will be more to say. But for now, we will take some time to grieve and process the loss of our brother, who we loved dearly.”
The singers continued, “The memories we shared with him will be treasured forever. For now, our thoughts are with his family, his friends, and the fans who loved him alongside us. We will miss him terribly.”
Keep reading for more photos of Kate and Liam together.