Pauley Perrette is done with acting for good.

The former actress, 55, shared during an interview with Hello! on Tuesday, Oct. 1 why she will “never again” act.

“I’m not ungrateful for the benefits that it [acting] gave to me,” she told the outlet. “But I’m a different person now, and I want to be here for it – the good and the bad and the painful. I want to be me all the time, and it takes a good amount of courage for me to say that to myself but it’s authentically how I feel.”

Perrette’s decades-long career started in the ‘90s with appearances on show such as Early Edition, Murder One and Frasier. She is best known for her playing forensic scientist Abby Sciuto on NCIS for 15 seasons from 2003 to 2018 — a role she exited after claiming “multiple physical assaults” occurred during her time on the show.

In May 2018, CBS released a statement to PEOPLE confirming the actress came forward with a “workplace concern” more than a year prior.

“Pauley Perrette had a terrific run on NCIS and we are all going to miss her,” CBS Television Studios said in the statement. “Over a year ago, Pauley came to us with a workplace concern. We took the matter seriously and worked with her to find a resolution. We are committed to a safe work environment on all our shows.”

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After recovering from a massive stroke in 2021, Perrette is now focused on her work behind-the-camera as a producer on projects including the 2023 documentary Studio One Forever, which explored the LGBTQ+ history behind the now-shuttered disco club Studio One.

“At this point in my life, I have this deep need to find authenticity in everything, and being an actor, especially at certain points in my life, was a great escape,” she told Hello! “It’s like a drug because I didn’t have to be me, I could be somebody else. My character didn’t have all of the problems that I was having.”

“It’s why I only watch documentaries, I want the truth,” Perrette added. “For me, going back to being an actor would be taking away from this life of true authenticity that I’m living 100% of the time.”